Justice for My Aunt Lucy: When Tragedy Strikes / 4 Ways to Cope
Hello Fellow Bitter to Better Blog Readers!
It's been about two weeks since I've posted and my apologies are sincere. There has been a tremendous tragedy in my life.My family and I have lost a very integral part of our lives, my irreplaceable aunt "Titi Lucy" has passed away.
While these things happen in life and the cycle is to be expected, I have never felt so sad for a loss. I know that the reason I feel so disturbed is because of the fashion in which she died.
My aunt burned to death in a scorching fire due to the negligence of a Slum Lord.
When we lose family or friends due to natural causes we are better equipped to deal with the pain. However, I now know how much worse the pain is when it's a loss you must endure due to a tragedy and circumstance that could have been prevented.
A situation like this leaves behind immense anger!
I quickly took to Facebook and posted derogatory statuses basically lashing out at her neighbors for not helping her escape and her landlord for neglecting his responsibilities.
I was LIVID!!!
Click HERE to read the news report about the incident. My aunt was a beauty inside and out.
More so, for the last week I've taken precautions in my own home that some might call dramatic, so in the case of a fire my one year old daughter and I can escape (borderline traumatized).
I've been having nightmares about her last moments. Before I close my eyes at night I share her pain and anguish. With a broken heart and torn by grief, it has taken me this long to even write this post.
I had to aide myself back to my normal self.
I've lashed out at just about everyone and realize that I'm dealing with this the wrong way and I know better.
So my thing is motivation, encouragement, and all things positive, life lessons and such... with that said I wasn't sure if what I was feeling or how I was coping was at all healthy. I did a little research and found a very simple and affirming article, you can read it HERE. It assured me that what I'm feeling and the stages I'm experiencing are normal.
I'd like to share 3 of the techniques I've been using to help me grieve and remember her in the brightest light.
1. Think of the person reaching a better place, like heaven, or meeting up with other family members and friends who passed away, like a homecoming. Especially if they suffered, nothing will hurt you more than to hold on to the notion that they are still suffering after death.
2. Play the persons favorite music, watch their favorite movie, or in my case with my aunt, wear her favorite lipstick color. Light candles and pray. Meet with family and friends to remember the good times. No need to be alone during this hard time, holding on to great memories and honoring them is therapeutic (allow your emotions out).
3. Seek justice! Instead of holding grudges and lashing out, actively seek justice for peace and closure. Those who harm others should not be left off the hook. Don't place blame on yourselves and try to justify what could've been done differently. Actively seek justice, for your loved ones and yourselves. It is not your fault!
4. Cherish every breathe and every moment. Take time to evaluate where you are and where you stand right now. Make the changes you wish to make and be unapologetic about it... Life is so sudden and tragedy can strike at anytime. In memory of your loved ones vow to live life to the fullest while you have the chance.
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WE WANT JUSTICE!