How Perfectionism Can Destroy Your Self-Esteem
I just want to make sure it’s perfect before I actually release it.”
This was I, so many times before. I had to give myself the ultimate NEWS FLASH:
NOBODY IS PERFECT!
“Perfectionism is the enemy of creation, as extreme self- solitude is the enemy of well-being.”
- John Updike
Trying to be perfect at everything you do really just saps your motivation in two. The reason why, is that the pursuit of perfection will ultimately make you feel inadequate.
You end up;
Comparing yourself to others and their results
Taking constructive criticism to the heart
Not producing anything in fear of being judged
Feeling that you’re not good enough and often quitting before you start
Creating stress over scenarios that aren’t real or haven’t happened yet
Becoming anxious about the future and unable to enjoy life now
Unable to reach satisfaction because you always find a flaw
Trying to do everything on your own
All of these outcomes (and many more) are a result of perfectionism and can cause real harm to your self-esteem.
Say this affirmation when you catch yourself behaving like a perfectionist:
“Nothing is perfect but I sure am unique. Once I get this done, it will be perfectly ME!”
Allow what you do be flawed and become comfortable with uncertainty because that is the beauty of your individuality. When you can let go and let be, you will have so much more fun in the process of life.
Therefore, instead of being so crucial and hard on yourself, try to incorporate these techniques instead:
Get used to the idea that there is only one of you in this world, it’s a fact. There is nobody to compete with when it comes down to being you. This is truly empowering if you are willing to embrace it..
You are perfect at being you and let that be enough. Nobody else can do that. How awesome is that!
Ask for assistance! For a perfectionist this is probably the hardest task; if you don’t feel satisfied with how you’re doing things, then how on earth will you be comfortable with somebody else’s attempt?
For this reason I say do it? Make the attempt and feel a bit of discomfort. You have to begin breaking the perfectionists habitual patterns and let someone else in.
People want to help, it’s in their nature, if you would just let them, you’d be surprised.
Go on and do it anyway! Publish that book, launch that app, start your YouTube channel, podcast, business in photography, etc.
The key to doing it anyway is to feel the instant gratification of now! Stop thinking in the future because you are not a fortune teller and it steals your joy and fulfillment right now.
Think of it this way; what is the worst that can happen? If you fail then try again!
Really, work on simplifying the process. I have this quote at my desk and it really helps me stay in my lane when judging my own work:
“If you want to succeed, double your failure rate.” – Thomas J. Watson
I accept what I create and release it, in that way and that way only will I learn what works and what doesn’t. Then I move accordingly; time is precious and now is the time to act!
Stop over thinking!
I know it’s easier said than done, especially when the habit has been built over time. With enough practice, you will be able to silence your negative self-talk and replace them with empowering ones intstead.
Listen to motivational speeches, meditate, or do some research on what It is to be a perfectionist.
Gain some insight and knowledge can be derived, you will find other techniques and studies to help you overcome detrimental habits.
Until Next Time
Just like any other habit, in order to start on the path of it becoming a default action, we must practice and do it constantly.
Believe in yourself and break the chains of comfort, embrace change and decide wholeheartedly to become better than the circumstances that surround you.
Until my next entry I hope we all set aside time to reflect and begin to make these lists of changes. Break the chains that hold you back from reaching your highest potential. Use that which has made you feel bitter to become better. Thanks for stopping by.
Please leave your comments below. Feel free to share a time when you experienced something in your life that made you bitter but you transformed it to something better. You never know who your story might help.